So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
