About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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