i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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