My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
