Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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