Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
