Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
