I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize