So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
