i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
