atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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