Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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