I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize