great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
