I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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