Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
