dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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