Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
