Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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