i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
