THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
