why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize