i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
