btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize