I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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