Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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