Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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