My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
