What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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