got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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