Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Blood and glitter go together right?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize