are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
