I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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