I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
