she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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