i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
