I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
