After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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