i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.