I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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