you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
