Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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