Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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