god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
