i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
