dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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