guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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