If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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