I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Come on in and take your pants off
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