There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
