Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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