Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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