She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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