I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
