I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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