"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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