I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize