4 words: hood of his car
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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