the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
wow bdsm is so cute
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
