I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
