let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
