Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
