i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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