you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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