I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
