Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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