It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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