i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
