I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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