Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
