You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
the raccoons are back...
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